Love sick.

now at work, but heck care. i still gonna post something to vent a bit.

Still couldn't get over the fact dat i am back nao + am not even trying anything to try convince myself is ok and such. I know i am such a fool for being so love sick. Mac says is be fine, i'll see him again in dec and it's not far away.

I know i know. But still.

I miss him. I miss him so much, i really wanna just be dat impulsive, leave all the shit here and just go to him.

I wonder if anything's wrong with me. Everytime i am away from him i feel like this, like times without him by the cam, times i have to off the computer to go to bed, times when i am alone taking the bus/train home, though i clearly know i will see him again soon.

I'm wearing our ring and his lucky bracelet nao. Just thinking and missing his presence around me. How can just 10 days changed me like dat? I am so love sick, so confused and so so reliant on his warmth nao, i feel so dead without it. Especially nao when he offline and swipis, while i awake and at work. I just can't bring myself to be cheerful to chat with my colleagues and such, yet just rotting here drowning myself in loneliness trying hard not to cry again. (why i keep crying everyday ah, so weak)

I am so greedy. I don't want just his things here with me, i want him! I want him so much, more than anything. (Well accept about the trading my friends thing, they are my family. And well that's another matter to say, since i know well enough they'll grow to like my macky boy.)

Just 10 days, i got so used to ur scent. (even though there's no strong smell from you other than ur perfume, meaning dat u probably smell similar to the scent i have), wearing your clothes, going out to drink/eat whenever i want to, walking in and out of the house around the neighborhood as, when i want without having to fear dat anyone would scold me (yet i am encouraged to do so =D) and when i get hurt/sick there'll always be mac mac there to take care of me. I had no worries. "it's a free country/world" you always say. But then but then...this experience is so new to me and is a good one, i grew to love it asap. Oh mac...I dunno, i just feel i can't live without your love nao. what to do?

Some times (though u told me not to) i wish dat i is get preggy, so dat i can have no more worries and no more have to wait and such just to be with you. I know, bad idea.

So yeah, shall continue to rot and be saddened nao. *sigh*

I miss you baby.