Money issues

This morning i woke, 1st thing about my mom trying to borrow another 500S$ from me. She had already borrowed 900 from me, resulting me not having the ability to change or fix this faulty com. Dat 500 would mean i wun be able to pay for the trip to the Philippines at the end of the year. So i didn't.

I have no job now, no money. People don't understand i saved up to 1k by earning only about 100S$ per month and saving half the amount per month. All they say is i'm being stingy like this. If i am dat stingy, i wouldn't have spared dat 900 out in the 1st place which will probably never be returned to me.

I was PROMISED the money to be returned the next month they borrowed. I have seen nothing yet, no talk about returning, no apology, no nothing cept trying to ask for more, like as if i am laying golden eggs. Even if i do, it's eggs i am laying, not golden poop which i wish i can do dat everyday.

They dunno how much it means to me. Not the money, but wat i spend it on.

I don't go shopping, I am constantly wearing old clothes or hand down clothes. I only shop for a jacket maybe once a year.

I don't eat meals outside. I am so scared to spend on something a minimal as this. Just so dat i can get money fast.

I spent money on a new printer, printings and a graphic tablet. Which are necessities i spent days pondering whether to buy or not.

Just lately, i actually bought myself dinner outside. But i felt so bad about it myself. Why did i spend on something so useless which i can wait for another 3, 4 hours to eat?

I was told dat it be better if i dun work while i am schooling. Is that possible?

Honestly telling all of you, I have more than 3k a few months ago. I WAS ABLE TO HAVE LUNCH EVERY. For once i thought i don't have to go through the hungry only FUCKING DINNER everyday and cursing each time i go to the craft store to get materials or print something for school work.

You "borrow" money without even wondering how the hell i did to save up when i can spend it on new sparkly dresses, a new laptop or go clubbing with people or just fucking head to a cinema to watch a simple movie.

All you do is smile and say, "I will return it soon." while i still survive on 50 bucks every month.

Crazy? No.

I wish you would try it as well, just for a single month. Then tell me how it feels.