I remember, i fell in love with mac...

Today i woke up a bit early today and did a bit of my school work. Obviously i still haven't finished it yet, though i didn't get side track.  Got a lot of shit to do and have to take care of kids like the awesome big sis i am. It rendered me really really tired and shits, the DRM ppl are still there to disturb me and trying to make life difficult for me.

Then again, i looked at the calender and noticed October is coming soon. And so will November then December. Where i will meet mac again like how i did on dat last 30th May.

I thought about how i used to sit in front of the computer and chat with mac while we used to say "I wish...i was there with u" a million times before we sign out and head to bed, until one day that we realize that it soon becomes unbearably painful to know we are miles apart away from each other. I tried to take my stand, so afraid to be hurt when both of us will fall together with no safety net. I refuse him, i tried at least, again and again, again and again. Little did i know, each day i watch him like dat; i somehow like The Fool on the tarot cards, feel over the cliff and feel into an endless depth.

But he knows.

"I'll catch you when you fall, don't hold back."

I remember, it was the most scariest decision. I don't know him that well, he lives far, we may not be able to meet each other while all i know is that it is too late i already fell so deep for him and probably under his magic spell, cursed or blessed, i was not sure, but i went with my gut and went for it.

Mac was drunk that night, he cried. He cried because i used every bit of my energy to hold myself back from him even though we both had already expressed the feelings we had for each other. I remember the last thing he shouted was "I'll catch you when you fall, you don't have to worry about anything. Please, don't hold back!" then dozed off. I don't think he was even thinking about how he is going to catch me when i fall or if i get hurt. He was prolly just too drunk and really went with his guts and pushed it.

I gave in.

I don't know what happened. That single moment i let my guard now, i was instantly sucked into that endless abyss of his love.

That's how i landed myself here today, love and loved. No regrets.

Though Mac said i was overbearing just nao and how many girls he met in game... i was a lil saddened, but i guess it's ok.