The Pillar of my Life...

"Don't be scared dar, No matter happens i will always love you, i will stay by your side till the end no matter how emo you get cuz you are my wife-to-be, loves you till the end of time, good night, sleep tight and sweet dreams"

These sweet tender words...i that couldn't get it out of my life. It brought me so much love, that it hurts so much now. It was the pillar of my life...

I happened to see it again last night and ended up crying again. I was so scared as reality struck me again and again. Am i really really gonna let go? Can i really really forget this love that held me up again and again during the lowest times of my life?

I don't know...

I called my brother and cried to him.

Though his words were firm, his tone was always gentle as usual. He don't even sound shocked when he caught this kitty crying for the first time. He said i might be treating my current bf as a substitute for the hole it my heart that was filled with the love i had for leon...that really hurts and it really scares me that that might be true. He told me to delete anything and everything i have of leon's but there's no way i think i can do that. That left me crying more as he used his little tactics to try calm me down.

It slowly got my crying to stop after an hour plus later. Calmed down enough to get tired and get back to bed again after 5am. That, i thank him so much.

I got up this today in the afternoon, still slightly gloomy. My bf messaged me asking what happened, i replied him with the cold hard truth that i was upset about my past relationship. He got upset and angry of course. Now kinda he shut me off a bit.

I guess I'll get back to him when i calmed down or maybe if he be nice to come comfort me, which i don't really see that coming. (He's not very sensitive to emotional stuff and tends to be an ass about it, argh)

So now i guess i would still spend my day emo-ing and stuffs.

*sigh*