Oks PPL KITTY ISH BACK SAVE AND SOUND AND FOR GOOD!!

Last view of the Sea View on the 1st of September 2010 from Kem Desaru had successfully got my beating heart of excitement to a stop.

"I'm finally leaving," I thought, but a sharp pain pierced thru' my heart. Surprisingly, i too was upset about leaving this hell. Days i had been here, everyday i prayed to be back home soon but when it's finally here, only a sense of lost has overcome my mind. "Why?" I couldn't think out a reason why i need to miss this place. Painful memories and tough trainings, ridiculous rules and the stupidity of some people that i had to tolerate through these 2 months of 'time wasting'.

i stood alone and watched the surrounding around me. There were so much tears dripping everywhere around me yet i couldn't even speak, not even at least show a face of any emotion that indicates 'sadness'.

i spent like 5 minutes again staring out at the sea, I could remember so clearly. The sky with the thick dark storm clouds stained with the evening sun of reddish rays. The wind was so cold, putting me on hold with this calm yet lonely emotion.

Then i walked a few steps back and turned around, i watched him (D8-Ø8) finally sitting alone. I approached him and sat there, squabbled a bit then just leaning against his warm back for a while before his friends dragged him off again in another few minutes time for an 'A-RU-BAH'. Just that feel minutes of a moment, i knew i would definitely miss this kinda warmth, that first and final peck i left on his cheek earlier in the day, and that annoying squabbling we always had over the most ridiculous issues. We will meet outside again, but i guess that feeling would never be the same.

I ate my final dinner there though the taste really isn't that appetizing.

It was my final meal there from the kitchen.

Soon that last night came and everyone lost control. Some partied, some cried, some started singing and there was a lot of NOISE. I gave my friends hugs, took much pictures which they will upload on their FBs, shared bites from the same food and had our last laugh we would have in this camp as a part of Company Charlie.

I WILL NEVER FORGET.

"TEPOK, TEPOK COMPANY CHARLIE!!"

I then walked back to the MESS back in the canteen after the last Charlie reunion. Sat down beside him (D8-Ø8) again. 2 of us quietly staring out at the noisy and messy crowd. We didn't squabble or have much words. Maybe the 'lost' i am feeling, he had it too.

The Night was LONG and noisy. I didn't get to sleep at all after leaving my final picnic in B11 with Tsu Rong and Pei Pei ended.

Phones kept ringing throughout the night, but when it finally stopped at around 4am, the 40mins fire trigger is pulled to wake the Muslims up for breakfast.

I gave up sleeping and sat up. I took out my diary and started flipping through it. Every words, every drawing i did told me that i had been thru' a lot, while my friends' final words written on it reminding me that I've made my mark and it's time to go.

i din take much time clearing up the last few items and dragging my bags out.

I din have appetite for breakfast at all, because of my drowsiness for i plainly had a final cup of tea. I met Jerry (A1-01) in the morning, we talked a bit and had our first and final hug of farewell. I held him tight for a while and let loose of one of my best friend here. "Thank you," was what resounded in my mind, though i didn't have the guts to say anything at that moment except for "bye".

Then we all moved to the parade square to have our final attendance, a few laughs and last cries, waved then it's up and gone.

I sat in the bus with Anis, who was as quiet as i am at that moment. Normally, we're a playful and noisy pair. But at out last moments, nothing came out from our mouth in that 1 and a half hour but simply just smiles and her just leaning on my shoulder for the last time. The guy's aren't allowed to sit with the girls, so he (D8-Ø8) got shoo-ed away to the back where he sat with his friend. We remained on sms contact the whole time, keeping me company while i got carsick and frozen by the air-conditioning in the bus. His gentle words letting me know, he's still there.

Soon we reached Danga Bay and it's time to leave.

I got picked off pretty soon, so my last good byes all went off with the ring-tones playing on their phones.

I reached home sooner than i expected and i dropped on my bed.

"Where am i?"

Home.

"I'm back home...?"

Wait.

"Where are they?"

This is it?

I took a bathe to calm down, threw up gastric juice later on thanks to the car sickness, then changed to a new piece of pajamas. I watched 'Repo! The Genetic Opera' on my laptop while eating curry puffs and drinking a hot cup of milk tea. With a last sms sent to him (D8-Ø8) i fell asleep finally, while still hugging onto his shirt close to my aching heart...

"Thank you all so much...good bye, keep in touch and may we meet again!"

It's true, though i hated the place and hated some people. I still felt glad i got picked to go thru' this shit and had spent time living thru' this with everyone of you.

"I love you."

...

Once again!!

"TEPOK TEPOK KEM DESARU!!"