Alone again...

How do i say this...?

I still love him, he knows that.
He still loves me...i know that too...

He hated it like this,
That I'm no longer in his arms.
I'm crying, i'm hurt. I needed some breathing space.

He gave me, I got it.

I know his concerns, his worries, his love.
I do hope he understands too.
I still love him.
But what i had now...it felt hurt to love, really.

I need some time, to sort myself out and to heal.
To forgive and forget,
To swallow the guilt that i got him suffering for 2 years much because of me,
To rest and think selfishly about myself...

A long time, maybe.
At least let me finish dealing the shitstorm i'd caused everywhere, on my own.
I needs that time, that growth in my life.
I can no longer 'see'.
I lost the sight which i loved and hated the most. (in many terms)
I cannot 'feel' anymore too.
I'm worried what might become of me.
But...I'll work it out somehow...

At least, I can breathe now.

But...

I miss him.

I don't regret my decision, but still, it hurts. It seriously hurts, still.