Day 1 after returning to hell.

Not coping very well, already ended up crying while mamac is asleep. I don't like this feeling being away from him, it just makes me feel insecure and scared. Maybe i am just too dependent on him that i can't help it at all. The days i spent with him are all warm, fond and carefree, not much worries even if there are any problems at all. I hate dat feeling when i was at the departure hall. I feel it even now, that mix feeling of sadness, void, loneliness and fear. I was freakin out long before i entered the airport to leave. It was a terrible experience that i would never want to have again. Too bad for me though, it's gonna be happening over and over and over again. I hate the airport, i just wanna stay with mac and never leave again.

Mac just woke up now and i cry cry again. I dunno why, i probably just can't take the horror of waking up without him beside me. Like when i did at his house, while he was just outside in the cr while i woke up. Kov and mot made fun of me about dat.

I really miss him. This 2nd trip to Phils only just did reassured me that i would never want to leave him. Even if i have to wake up every morning eating rice for breakfast everyday even though i would really prefer bread/taste or anything not filled with high carbohydrate with my kopi/teh or juice. Well, thats probably my only problem there other than some language barrier which will lessen in time i hope.

I really love him so much, tito raised an awesome son.

Is back.

Feels as if it's just yesterday i just got on plane and got my way out of the airport late at night, spotting my baby in a tux when he came late picking me up at the airport. My heart is left a void again, couldn't stop crying in the morning when preparing to leave the house. I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night without him by my side. No want to sleep without hearing his loud loud snores. Don't want to be alone in this empty big room.

It's not the end of us i know, there should be nothing to be scared about i know, but then. I just can't take it being i can't cry and snuggle him as i need until the next time i see him. =< I pray it is not for long though, i don't want it to stay like this too long. I pray that a day will come when we will not need to keep being apart anymore.

It has been a long stay. From X'mas till new year, till our 14th month month-sery. I have met so many new people, experienced and learnt more new things about the culture of Pampanga Philippines. I can even watch tagalog soap operas and reality shows without understanding fully what they are saying. Isn't it awesome? Maybe one say i can too speak Pampanga tagalog with all his friends and relatives. But well, I'm still comfortable with my Brit English though, there nothing that could change about that.

I have a new fav alcoholic drink now i think. The San Miguel Beer with lemon, which have same taste with shandy (since is same ingredients) but higher alcohol content. My alcohol intake just only gets weaker and weaker. Still can't even finish a bottle of tanduay ice on my own without getting a headache. I always stop drinking more once the headache kicks in, it makes it even more comfortable to just drink in more.

Still sick of eating meat and full meat course every meal. Maybe i should take over the cooking and make something naise and healthy to eat. But i am scared of the dogs, they always seem to have a killing intent to me. What makes me so scared is there are like 4 in the kitchen, which makes it difficult for anyone to enter except for Ate. T^T scary doggies...

My bra and shirt got torn by the washing machine. I should buy the net bag the next time i visit + bring some clothes to leave it there so i don't have to be bringing much luggage each time i visit.

Today i saw a couple quarreling at the mrt station about a jealously matter because the guy said "hi." to an ex. Free entertainment comedy. I am glad me and Mac ish not like dat.

PS: I found a lil note from my baby. I love u too, u sweet sweet youuuuu!! I stuck the dried little red flower on the place where you drew one. Googled the flower, it ish name Ixora Coccinea. =D

1 week here~

It's been a week I've been here and i could say i am doing pretty well. Still cant hold my liquor (feel so bad being the troublesome one) and so much salty foods. I met more and more mac relatives and friends, pera i just feel veh veh shy about it. too many peoples!! LOL

We had a christmas dinner last night and got to play the "guess the word" game on tv. Dat koby keeps making fun of me, as well as the kaloy. Many facepalms of the day, but i guess it is ok. =) Tita Ann (Jackjack's mom) brought a doggy to dinner. So cute~! Her name is Amber. She responds to her name though, mac says is because it is a puppy so it wears pampers. Poor Amber got sick today, so they bringing her to vet. I met so many people to the point i dun remember their names...hmmm lets see wat i can remember. Karl, Katrina, Janica, Nic, Kelvin...ehhh i think dat's it and i probably missed one. Heh. I din get to meet Sheila and her family though, dunno if they gonna visit for the rest of the days i am here.

We've been going out for coffee when we have nothing better to do. The streets are filled with lights and parol decorations, it's a very beautiful sight in the evenings, where the shops are still open with these star shaped, flower shaped lanterns sparkling about.

Other than people at dinner, i met Polly~! She a very friendly funny chubby girl, i like her a lot. She talks a lot, which is good, since i don't if no one does. hehe. We went Karaoke and sing song. Jackjack and Polly so shocked dat i can sing dat 2 filipino song, though i have no idea wat i am singing. I just know the lyrics because i memorized it. =p Mamac calls Polly "Poypoy"

I watched tv there are many Mikey Bustos commercials, One of them said filipinos like to repeat names like John-john and Ley-ley. So i repeated after the commercial, "And Mamac. Oh and Kovkov too!" They all giggled.

I still no have got pressies for my siblings yet since we no go out, no more moolah anymoar. LOL. Only left with 50 bucks because i went to the hair salon with Mac and Yves to get my hair rebonded and colored last thursday. it costs a bomb for us but it's quite worth it i guess. My hair all smooth smooth and easier to managed now. Though it breaks easily. Needa take care of it properly when i get home, cannot be lazy anymoar.

Now i have nothing better to do. at least i got to have some veges to nom today. *cheers with tears in eyes* FINALLY~!! Haha! Kaloy and Katrina ish still here though, but they always outside in living room while me and the boys gets stuck here in room with our coms. I walk out every once and then to sit outside with them and chat a bit. Then comes in again. Not doing very well am i. I guess dat's the end of my post for today because i am lazy and mac is trying to peek at it.

=p

WRY NO END OF THE WORLDDDDDDDDD?!!!

Flying to Mamac again~!

I ish now at airport waiting for the plane. guess wat? I've got the first seat yo, 1A wierd luck?

Have been waiting for this for days. Being nervous and freaking out everyday, i finally arrived at the day i ish gonna see my mamac again. I wonder how he be later, how he'll smell like and how will he dress like. I dress all pretty though. All there is now is wait about 3hrs? Till i see him again. My only love.

Some australian uncle tried to pick me up just now. i must have looked veh pretty. But he old uncle, look eeky and too chatty, kinda irritating. But maybe because he old man, need ppl to chat with all the time. hmm...

Now i looking outside T2 E22 to see if plane arrives soon.

Now to my 21 days holiday~ Or till the end of the world (at least i get to die or wat so ever with him. haha!)

Jya, Adios!!