Not coping very well, already ended up crying while mamac is asleep. I don't like this feeling being away from him, it just makes me feel insecure and scared. Maybe i am just too dependent on him that i can't help it at all. The days i spent with him are all warm, fond and carefree, not much worries even if there are any problems at all. I hate dat feeling when i was at the departure hall. I feel it even now, that mix feeling of sadness, void, loneliness and fear. I was freakin out long before i entered the airport to leave. It was a terrible experience that i would never want to have again. Too bad for me though, it's gonna be happening over and over and over again. I hate the airport, i just wanna stay with mac and never leave again.
Mac just woke up now and i cry cry again. I dunno why, i probably just can't take the horror of waking up without him beside me. Like when i did at his house, while he was just outside in the cr while i woke up. Kov and mot made fun of me about dat.
I really miss him. This 2nd trip to Phils only just did reassured me that i would never want to leave him. Even if i have to wake up every morning eating rice for breakfast everyday even though i would really prefer bread/taste or anything not filled with high carbohydrate with my kopi/teh or juice. Well, thats probably my only problem there other than some language barrier which will lessen in time i hope.
I really love him so much, tito raised an awesome son.
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