Kitty's Guilt...

Everytime i want something from Leon, especially i beg for him to give us some more time to be together...that uneasy face of him gets me guilty once he agreed to me...

Why do i have to do this all the time?

Don't we already have like the whole free time together, in the morning and after school/work? How can i treat him and torture him like that? making him in s pot. when he has no money and when he's not free? Why am i so stupid and stubborn?!!!!!!

I don't want him to worry, less wanting to get upset about these small matters and when i get upset...I DON'T WANT TO GET HIM SO UPSET ABOUT IT! less that i wanna get him involved, and over worried about my well being all the time.

I know i am weak and an idiot. But...

I dunno...just the urge to be independent again?
it's always a struggle.
am i too dependent on him?

i feel that I'm getting more and more weak mentally and physically.

Getting emotional all the time and a lot of breakdowns and crying.
I must be going nuts...

Sherwin said is seriously need some professional help.

Well....do i?

Today he overhead some shitty stuff on the phone...got really upset and concerned about my well being. I dunno how to talk to him about it. since...You know. it's my matter. He shouldn't be too involved in the first place.

oh well....now he msged. ask if i wanna run away from home.

he must be outta his mind.

I'll call him later and talk to him.
I don't want him to be so upset. especially when it's because of me.