Kitty rants about history...

Pretty much come and go, my love life churning and turning around and around. I tired, seriously given up on men. I'm no longer a man-hungry teenager, no longer have the need to survive for those who don't appreciate or respect me and my life.

I don't know what I'm saying now is actually right. There's always gray lines, so what i say may not be entirely true.

My ex-es have disrespected me or my life, you my readers had seen these in your eyes through my blog, through my life itself. I'm tired of crying, tired of dying and EXTREMELY TIRED of feeling guilty. I've lived my life trusting who i shouldn't trust and i need not it happening again. I have given so much in return to just cry in the dark, WHAT THE HELL?? It hurts me even more that they have no guilt for themselves and it totally URKS me to see them trying to make themselves the hero of their story. Even though they might or might not know it, they always have some scheme up in their hands to exert pressure and guilt on me. Making me the guilty party, the 'bad girl'. Each and every time, the breakup turned out to be something their peers will KILL me about. "She should die, she does not deserve you." I'm not blind ya' know? I still have eyes and stop making it public that I'm a slut. Maybe i should die. But i am sure, being the one that dumped them, they do not deserve me. It's like keeping a pet, if you don't have the heart to love and take care of it properly, DON'T. Sheesh.

I have the rights to love whomever i want and dump whoever that disrupts my life. Life's harsh, just take it in. If you still think you have no wrong, you shouldn't even talk to me right now. Though I might be at fault, I'm sure SOMETHING triggered it, ya know.

My current boyfriend loves me, respected me and even more encouraged me for everything i do. I do not feel the pressure of age, occupation nor education status. Though he couldn't speak English well, though he knows NIL about art. I find nothing to dislike him. He made me understand more about myself, understand there should not be such pressure upon our relationship. He makes me feel that i need to even more improve myself in whatever ways and it will not cause any pressure in our relationship, more aiding then failing actually. He's pretty much ok with my friends and thinks that Ah Muis is amusing <3.

I am happy.

I will even more happy if my past stop haunting me though, every time just wanting me to feel guilty that i have dumped a joke of my life. Stop talking about him, stop stalking my blogs and online networks if you don't want to get hurt, stop talking about me with MY PEERS and my dear friends, please just ignore them. THEY ARE NOT 100% correct ya know. I love you humans more than any men you know that and will gladly kick them aside so we can be together always.

Don't know what else to rant about...and oh!

Stop crying for lord's sake. It's not going to get my sympathy even if you die in front of me, being the cold-hearted self i am. Not even for Japan's recent disaster. Pfft.