Wednesday, July 25, 2012

WAHHHHH MY POGI FOLDERRRRRRRRR T^T

This is what happened at work today due to an accident.
My Pogi folder is gone "O_Q"

*dies*

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

i screwed up?

Last night wasn't the best night for us, things had been piling up since weekend contributing to my moodiness and temper, thus i lost it again and again getting angry at both mac and myself.

Depression had been killing my attention again and again, making my mood even worse each time i notice my errors. yesterday i went work, no graphic tablet so apparently i left it home. No wallet....dat's still ok, since i can skip lunch if i want to. (my colleague lent me moolah though so i can eat for the day). Then no keys, so i got locked outside the house for 2hrs until kach rushed back just to pass me her keys to let me in (i feel so bad about it =<) .

Not only the lack of attention, i even lost my sense of judgement. While we were argueing, i was at the point of saying something like, "FINE! THEN DUN BOTHER, DUN TALK TO ME ANYMORE!! I HATE YOU!!" But i didn't. I stopped myself. I don't want to say anything i will regret. I mean i am already pissed off with him, it should be the limit anymore and i shouldn't push it more or the thing i fear about losing him might happen. ="< But i am dead scared of it happening. It scares me even more knowing dat it will happen if i can't control my emotions properly.

Sure i become hostile when i am upset, but i never want to be alone this way and i mean it literally. (hugs are so hard to get

The argument are ugly though and it really hurts me to feel either dat i am inadequate or that i just don't matter as much to him as i feel he is to me. I feel dat he doesn't pay as much attention to my fears while he feels dat i dun give him enough breathing space. It turns out dat i am scaring myself out even more when i feel dat taking away his breathing space will eventually make him break away from me.

arghhh, so confused, though we already made up after we calmed down without anything resolved. =< i dun want to deal with this fear, unsure-ness and tears alone. But i did appreciate he finally is able to just simply accompany me until i fall asleep.

Bloody distance. if it wasn't for it i wouldn't mind him doing something else other than attending to me. since he can simply still pat me and hug me while he still hand his hand on the keyboard since he can turn around and look at me as and when he wants...not need al tab, no need "eh wait ah", no need "oi oi oi oi oi oi o i MACCC!!" ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........
I want go home.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

":( i hope you feel better soon" --- NO!!

I don't even know why i even bothered to wake up for.

ARND 1AM? ORLY?? 1PM MAYBE...

TODAY I WAITED AND ANTICIPATED HOURS FOR NOTHING WHILE WATCHING POM POKO AND ADVENTURE TIME IN RAGE (since i can't relax at all because am pissed off, funny thing, since these are shows dat i am supposed to be enjoying with.)

1 ORZ...nao 5am.

Thanks ah, thanks.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Emptied

Today my brains got emptied and all i can think is flying back to you.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

BRAIN BLOCK


There's your scent drifting in the MRT today.


I hate it when i see your shadows in everywhere i go, yet when i turn around you are nowhere in sight. =<

Monday, July 16, 2012

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Kiss

My Birthday is gone and done with, LOL YAY, no crying this year. Is not the awesome-est day, but i guess is good enough dat i peacefully get through it with a lot of food. Today i just spent a lot of time resting, basically just sleeping and not running around a lot, other than going out just nao to get my A&W Root beer.

Have been thinking a lot about ma mac these days, basically anticipating something i have longed for so much since i last touched him. The thought of it makes my lips have this shivery sensation. It is so wierd. LOL But i like it. It is a good feeling i think.

Often, i huggles "Siopao" and kiss it, just to get the over-flowing feelings vented on. (Sorry ah mac mac if u get smelly smellings xmas gift because i putok lol)

But yeah, i really miss mac mac a lot. dec please come soon!! XDD

Ma mac is bathing nao i think, these days his tummy not feeling well. I kinda worried too, since he is not eating well either. T^T Why he pick up all the bad habits from me, no eat outside just to save moolah. *sigh sigh* bloody moolahness!! I hope he be fine soon and nothing serious is going on in there. No want him lose weight because he sick. =<

*prays*

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Oops!

*is thinking dat she is finally going to be getting caught for being late*

-worrying-

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Wahhh~♥

Ma mac got to know wat it is already ah~<3

Though i feel lil >.<" about the moolah spent, but i hope it be in good use and good hands. Ma mac need not worry about it, one who should be worrying about it is me. =p but i think i can get thru' this month fine. Just no birthday pressie for myself, though i have been thinking about getting some things these days like a lightbox for drawing. Is not anything urgent or things i need, i can always get it next time. =)

I want to make ma mac happy too and be useful to my ma mac. To make ma mac smile, is the most beautiful thing. Its radiance is enough to brighten up my dark gloomy days =)

It wasn't my 1st intention to get something of this price though, it just happens to be something i was looking for. Simple, smooth, neat design with many cards + a coin compartment + with of a special design. Since ma mac wallet is tearing, i wanted to get something naise, durable and somewhat unique in a way. But among these many dat i have seen, only this one seems to be the perfect one. It's not really dat fancy pansey as you have thought, just simple design but it is pretty with a good material and is light.


*took me so long to pick, i picky picky shopper*
I dead stubborn to want to find a naise one dat mac mac will be comfortable with. =)

mac mac use it k?

I bought it for ma mac to use it. =p

Woke up this morning with this:
"i go swipi now i rly rly love you mwah <3"

Geehehehe<3 I ish love u much too<3

Monday, July 9, 2012

Just came home

Wahhhh tired but kinda happy.

I went out around the mall today after work to stroll around. Eventually i got something i am very much satisfied with. Though it is quite costly ,(it broke my budget by more than a 100%), but i do hope it be doing good and can last a long long time. Is something special for a special someone.

You probably know what i am getting you already, but i bet it will still come as a surprise to you when you see it and i hope you'll like it too though. ^o^

Really wanna share with u 1st hand wat it is, since i super excited about it. But then, maybe it be good surprise ahhh. Hehehehe<3You'll see when u see it, you'll see.

Lil' clue:

Monday blues

Here it comes again another Monday where i rather hide in my own room alone, in despair away from the whole world than sitting down here in the office blogging, youtube-ing, facebooking and drawing.

Sitting down here thinking, if i should actually put some effort into doing other things rather than to keep missing him all the time and be upset about it. The thing is, i like thinking about him, the times we shared and thngs i would love to do for him and things we have done together. Though liking it, i still feel upset while thinking about it, since each time these lil thoughts come in, it makes me miss and want him around even more.

Maybe i just got greedy ya know? Those 10 days not enough and i want more.

I want more to touch him and hug him, want more to look into his eyes while he look back, more of those sweet lil moments where our spectacles CLANG into each other when we try to kiss and more of the fun times where we make fun of each other laughing about it together.

Sigh.

We'll meet again, the eventually spend the rest of our lives together huh.

I guess i just have to wait, though i impatient and have eeky mood swings. But i'll wait.In the mean time, hope ma mac no get tired of my funny moodswings and wierdness until the next time we kiss again.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

I miss you.


Bittersweet huh...

I guess, i can only miss your touch this way.

ARGHHHHhhhh december, please come soon~!!