Saturday, June 30, 2012

Angry at self.

WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID AND INSENSITIVE WITH WORDS!!

I really didn't meant to say anything to have u upset, i really didn't.
Even so dat u say u know...i still feel bad. It's unforgivable for me to do dat, i just can't forgive myself at all.

I'm sorry.
I just...I love you. ="<

It makes me fear showing anything that u don't like when you are always so sweet and careful with me, while i am unknowingly being mean to you. What the hell? You mean so much so much to me, what if one day you just can't take it anymore and explode because i am like dat? (TOT) What should i do?

I feel so lost.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Just missing you more.

3 weeks has gone by without your warmth.

I have made myself eat properly for my meals everyday even if i don't feel like it. I have trained myself not to cry no longer. I have learn to lift my muscles and smile again without the help of your little mojo dat always makes me blush and laugh hysterically.

BUT.
I have yet to learn how not to be upset.



The longing-ness grows stronger everyday as i miss you every minute, every second i breathe. It's always a struggle for me trying not to sulk and pout all day long. I really really miss you baby and each day without fail a little moar. Though it might sound foolish, thinking and missing you while i work/eat/do anything (i don't have much concentration/concern/care for wat i am doing anymore), but I just love you dat much, it makes me happier knowing I'm loving you so much, so much.

Even though i am upset nao, being miles away from you.
I am glad though, dat the one i love is you.

I rather be a fool like this for you, no want anything else =)

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Little bit Selfishness, Narrow-minded Kitty.

NO WANT NO WANT NO WANTTTT!! NO WANT MYSELF BEING SUCH PETTY MAO, NO WANT THESE EEKY DOUBTS AND THOUGHTS THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO MEAN ABOUT MYSELF AND HOW IT IS SEEMINGLY TREATING THE BOND BETWEEN ME AND MAC!! D=<

I really really really want him, i want him so much dat i worry. I worry so much, so much about the bad things dat might happen more than the good ones. I think so much of them they become so scary and gains dominance of my emotional stability. It is so biggggggg in its influence i already lost all interests in working (i day dream most of the time or just work brainlessly) and wat i do (walk in mid of street. lose tots, almost get hit by lorry/truck). Day in and day out, i keep thinking all about him and wanting to be near him.

Then again it makes me think.

If i be near him, he be bored of me soon? Get too used to me soon? Getting to take me for granted soon??

But when i am not near him, i fear he be approach by girls when he is alone. Fear he gets tired of the boredom and our distance or get too hungry for love. Fear he feels unloved because how much i am unable give him thanks to the sea dat separates us apart.

*sigh*

HMMMMM wat if i with him all the time? Will he get sick and tired of my "i love u"? Will he get fed up with my mood swings? Will he be disgusted by the eeky thoughts i have from time to time? Will he leave me alone after he have enough of me??

But i no want him near any girls, no want him be feeling he is away from me either. I want him to take care of me while i devote myself to him and only him. I know about the i shouldn't give him 100% of me thingy, BUT I DON'T CARE. I am a girl in the end, i should be allow to express my love as and when and to whom i choose it to be.

NO want people like A.G to be pretty in his eyes, for i know i can never be as eye catching as she is. (I jelly at anything and girls he mentioned) I want to do anything to keep him; cut my bangs, wear lil dresses, put cute makeup and pinch my cheeks to get his every EVERY attention. It kills me at times, when i have to smile and try and convince myself that i am not affected by some things like his past or things people tell me when all i want i simply just to love him and forgo everything else, while expected the same. I know is a selfish thought and things like dat would only make situation worse but wat else can i do?

i boring, not good looking, lack of charisma, lack of self esteem, lack of security, lack of sparkles self. This is dat much i can do but it seems to be never enough for me to suppress my own fears of losing him.

NO WANT, i no want be like this. It feels like such a sin to be harboring these intense feeling of wanting him even if it takes tearing my world apart.

I feel so scheming, like a over obsessive, possessive bad girl ="< and i don't wanna appear like a scary monster in front of him. He is so precious and means so much, SO MUCH to me.

Can i? Do i really deserve him and his love? >.<

I really want him so much so much, sigh, why do i think like dat =_="

I envy so much dat others can be together as they want, though i know the thing i have with my mac is a lot stronger and special than what they have, but still...wat is this uneasy feeling dat lingers in me?


BLEHHHH I AM SO BLOODY CHILDISH.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

What happened?!!

Went out this weekend with my friends for dinner and i hear bad info about me among them. 1st about the issue dat i change many boyfriends ever since they know me (is like how dat vic keeps saying dat i change bf like i change clothes, MF...i don't even....ARGH!!!), 2nd is the thing about they think dat i have sex with new person(s) (Well, might as well just label me a slut will ya?!), 3rd the news spreading dat i was suicidal among the peers + ppl dat i not even close with. (ya, i am stupid, i kill myself and failed.)

It hurts. ="<

I don't know wat to say about this but, why do they have to say something about it behind my back. Those are personal issues and such, some i don't even want anyone to touch them anymore. WHY THE HELL are people still talking about it nao?

I know prolly they feel dat they are long term friends, these should be open issues and the lack of respect and boundaries and blahhh. Don't they realize the things they are talking about is very VERY hurtful of my pride and my feelings? I don't know what else to say or how to tell them, i don't wanna explain my situation nor i wanna tell them the whole story since i still wanna keep it private to my own. Neither i wanna start another argument about me being a petty fool and wat not, keeping issues to myself because i "don't treat them as friends?".

I don't wanna do this bullshittery arguement anymore. All i need is to love and be loved back, I don't need them to know my every story and be nosy/judgemental about the things i've done and been through.

I only need dat lil sensitivity and concern.

I am still human, it hurts, it really does.

Missing the sleeping him.

Just woke up outta bed though it is already 1pm+, feeling slightly confused and lonely as i cannot find him to hug to. Still not quite used to it after weeks have passed, i can only feel better if i know he is by my side. He is still sleeping though, so i don't wanna disturb him. He has been lacking of sleep this weekends dat i dun wanna him to be sleepy and get sick eventually. ARGHHH, but i miss him so much. >.<

These days thanks to work and what not, our sleep timing shifted drastically, thus often resulting us in sleeping at different periods of the day.

Mac woke up in the middle of the night suddenly knowing dat it's around time i would reach home from honey's celebration, without an alarm clock. I know, because i called him when i reached back, 2 times, and he never answered. It was a very sweet gesture though, so sweet dat i dunno wat to say, but to love him even more.

I'll be going out for dinner later too, should i call him up and squish him sleep time just for a few hours to chat in ur weekends with him before i go out? Or should i just let him sleep till it's enough for his body to woke up by himself, so he be comfy?

Thanks to me and the mac, Kach has been somewhat forced to sleep in another room with the mattress because both of us don't sleep in the night. we spend our nights chatting and playing, which had been making her sleep difficult because i am too noisy. I feel so bad ah, but i dunno wat else i can do. I really really miss my love so much, i really wanna spend all the time with him aside from working/his school time. (we have no choice about it) Most of time, i think we prolly lack of sleep badly, considering us always chatting till late night. Or something staying awake till morning. I always try to salvage my sleep, sleeping whenever few hours where mac is still in school knowing the time he be ol is around 9~10pm when i reach home around 6.30~7pm.

OKOK.....hmmm....*thinks* considering mac has not been answering me around 3am. So he should be alseep by then. Then then, how is near 2pm. *thinks* 4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12, 1, 2. He has been asleep for more than 10hrs already, should i call him??

*confused confused*

*stress*

*sigh*

*knock wall*

Monday, June 18, 2012

Slowly getting back into the pace of 'Life'

BLOG POST 101.

Back in SG, back to work, back into the shitty reality of what the society has already dictated as life.

Study else you'll be useless, Work else you'll be worthless.
Yeah, that's how shitty living is. But still i can't help thinking about wat the adults nag me about the whole weekend.

I have long gave up the thought about living, there's no point going around being judged by the number of certs and the points you have. There's no confirmation that one will have a high paying job and be looked upon when one is a graduate. And so what if you have all the money and fame there is, is it guaranteed that one will be living happy?

Sigh, at least i have something to look forward to everyday. Just any joke from him, LAME or not will lit my day up as if it had never been grey.

Sometimes i feel simple things in life affects me more than winning the lottery or having the chance to handle a big project. Mac told me dat before dat i overvalue many simple, common things, like how if someone give me food to eat or simply just bring me to have a walk around the super marker, it will make me super SUPER happy!!

I actually quite like this side of me. Appreciate and be appreciated, that's what one of my given name means. Suiting?

I remember, in the past 10 years or so, my birthday wish was always simply to wish that i can be happy when i could wish for toys or awesome grades at school. Now i realize, what i need and can do was actually really simple.

I don't need all the cash in the world to be happy, just a little love will do and a little more everyday! =)

That is what it means to live to me,
and the only thing that keeps me living.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Back in my OWN room!!

Came back home today after 1 and a half months with all my junk from everywhere so i can bring a lighter bag out the next time.

I brought back memories of me and mac together as well. As i unpack things, looking through every item and laughed about how we survived half a year together like this in my room is such an interesting feeling. Every little things we shared together just by this laptop and the things around me. The blanket i wish he's in with me every night instead of the bolster and my dolls i play with on the webcam, it brings back a lot of memories good and bad of us together struggling to love when we are a world apart.



There's now a few more editions into my room nao that tells me that our relationship is not as shallow as just stroking each other's ego on webcam, i hope it will have more though. I want to feel myself surrounded by him ALL THE TIME. LOL (shit i sound like such a stalker)

*sniffs mac's shirt again*

Oh pogi ko, i wish you were here with me nao as i was in your room just a week ago.

I can't believe a week has passed already, it's only been a short while though it felt like a century to me. DAMNED and i still have to wait till dec. How many centuries would dat be?!!

I just ate durian. HOHO. Though i have slight sorethroat for going out with Tenma to nomnom AWSOMES MANGO PUDDING <3 Thanks again Tenma for the good noms, so wanna nom it again. we should all have nom nom outing nya~

Father wasn't in any bad mood with me when he picked me up earlier, so i am still fine. I just came back to my room in case we have to talk anything more which will turn into a conflict. Mother is out nao playing majong out at her friend's place. i would expect her and her lil 'pet talk' later, sigh. Ah well, dunno how to deal with it so i think if my hair dry enough i shall nap until pogi comes home and onlines. (pray no blackout tonight) I really miss him so much and i would LOVE SO MUCH if nothing spoil my weekends with him.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Missing Ma Mac.

Mac is back in school nao, supposingly. I don't know wat happened though, but he hasn't been ol last night and he is uncontactable by phone until nao. (am guessing and hoping he just forget to bring his phone charger + lappy again) It worries me you know, not knowing if he is fine or not. Since he din even hang up my call, is more like no line uncontactable.

Sigh sigh....calm down kitteh. he be fine. He is a grown ass man, he'll take care of himself!!
>.< *mumble mumble*

(an hour interval)

OK back from lunch nao and i saw this:


So yeah, he's fine. *smacks ma mac* i worry + miss u a lot you know "OoQ"
Thank god you finally found a way to contact me.

LOLs of my workspace thoughhhh...WTH have i been doing here man... (continues to chat with ma mac)

Been doing fine with the zhuzhu lately as we got closer together. though we are not always together physically, i really enjoy the time i get to chat with her, care for her + she always belanja me FUUUUUDDDDDSSSS <3

Got to speak with Lute too, hearing her speak stories about her and her sister. It warms me and reminds me how i am with my zhuzhu. heheh.

OK back to work nao. can't procastinate too long! *floats off*

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Love sick.

now at work, but heck care. i still gonna post something to vent a bit.

Still couldn't get over the fact dat i am back nao + am not even trying anything to try convince myself is ok and such. I know i am such a fool for being so love sick. Mac says is be fine, i'll see him again in dec and it's not far away.

I know i know. But still.

I miss him. I miss him so much, i really wanna just be dat impulsive, leave all the shit here and just go to him.

I wonder if anything's wrong with me. Everytime i am away from him i feel like this, like times without him by the cam, times i have to off the computer to go to bed, times when i am alone taking the bus/train home, though i clearly know i will see him again soon.

I'm wearing our ring and his lucky bracelet nao. Just thinking and missing his presence around me. How can just 10 days changed me like dat? I am so love sick, so confused and so so reliant on his warmth nao, i feel so dead without it. Especially nao when he offline and swipis, while i awake and at work. I just can't bring myself to be cheerful to chat with my colleagues and such, yet just rotting here drowning myself in loneliness trying hard not to cry again. (why i keep crying everyday ah, so weak)

I am so greedy. I don't want just his things here with me, i want him! I want him so much, more than anything. (Well accept about the trading my friends thing, they are my family. And well that's another matter to say, since i know well enough they'll grow to like my macky boy.)

Just 10 days, i got so used to ur scent. (even though there's no strong smell from you other than ur perfume, meaning dat u probably smell similar to the scent i have), wearing your clothes, going out to drink/eat whenever i want to, walking in and out of the house around the neighborhood as, when i want without having to fear dat anyone would scold me (yet i am encouraged to do so =D) and when i get hurt/sick there'll always be mac mac there to take care of me. I had no worries. "it's a free country/world" you always say. But then but then...this experience is so new to me and is a good one, i grew to love it asap. Oh mac...I dunno, i just feel i can't live without your love nao. what to do?

Some times (though u told me not to) i wish dat i is get preggy, so dat i can have no more worries and no more have to wait and such just to be with you. I know, bad idea.

So yeah, shall continue to rot and be saddened nao. *sigh*

I miss you baby.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Trip to mahal ko's heartland

long time no blogging. But i guess no harm done having some verbal diarrhea to deal with every now and then. If u may know, i just got back from Pampanga Philippines from visiting my future husband. Hmmmmm prospects.....his family took a liking to me and his friends are so friendly =D He loves me a lot and i had the best 10 days of my life.

Day 01 - 30 May (Wed)
Couldn't sleep the whole night thanks to my nerves and my anxiety about meeting my man. How is he like, how would he feel, how would he smell like? Would he be naise? Would he be as nervous as i am? Will he forget to pick me up?? LOL It's the 1st time dat i actually decide to run away without notice to my parents for a trip, DAMNED i am so rebellious. But ah well, rational decision or not, it was not one dat i will ever regret.

I waited all the way till near daybreak i think dat i might have fell asleep 1hr before i wake up. So yeah, alarm rang, i got up and rushed to prepare myself, bathe and put makeup properly. Get my toothbrush, pack everything and try and calm down. changed clothes here and there (din get to wear wat i have planned but at least it was comfortable)

Kach offered to escort me to the airport, which was SOOOOOO HELPFUL. I would have got lost on my own and accompanied me even to the check-in because i am such a noob. T^T but yeah. So kach was constantly remind me to be careful and such, (she is so scared dat i get kidnapped and never come back ever again, or worse die somewhere in dat 3rd world country she is so afraid of) we had a small breakfast tgt and she bought me a book to read on the plane so i wouldn't get bored. Which was an awesome gesture. Though she was not supportive about my decision at all, she never stopped me knowing this is wat i really want. so a final hug and i am off to the departure hall, where i got scanned everywhere and even stripped my boots for scanning.

I went around strolling and drinking some water, it didn't take long till i have to go to the gate 10 to prepare for boarding the plane.

Chat with some random stranger while hugging tight unto my laptop while i was boarding the plane. careful NOT TO let anyone touch my belongings. Then up the plane i go. Got a right wing window sit w/o the exit (lucky me) because an old pinoy couple wanna stay on the outside seats. it was an exciting ride as well as a LONG BORING AND NERVE WRECKING ONE.

it took so long to take off, but so exciting to see how the plane flew from SG to malaysia then out into the blue blue sea and white fluffy clouds of pretty-ness and soon to be boredom awaits. It was exciting for a while, the motion sickness din seat well with me though, i was constantly uncomfortable (1) thanks to my itchy butt allergy prob (2) the motion sickness (3) my back aching from the seat. I finished the book within half an hour and i decided to sing random songs softly to past time. i tried to sleep, din work. I kept fidgeting none stop as well, since so bored. so i took some time of my boredom and started to think about possibly how scary my boy would be. what if he is not wat i have thought he would be and such. Have to get mentally prepared you know? Just in case. Well, there's still other things like how would first kiss be, how sweet our days would be. And that FINALLY i can be able to feel him and hold him tight when i sleep instead of sleeping with the noisy lappy on and get irritated about the distortion and dc-ness, the fear of the need to wake up without him slowly dispersed in me.

Took me sometime to calm down, then i just sat there and stared blankly until i figure out i can draw and fill in the arrival form. have to fill in 2 because i am stupid and cant write properly. Then i started to draw the nerve wrecking thoughts, which made me even more nervous. After i done drawing, 2 turbulence ASAP. THE HELL....I WAS SO SHOCKED, i tot we were gonna crash. well, at least if i gonna crash, it would be in the Philippines, so it won't be too bad. (already noticing the lands below, actually the plane reached the province already, just waiting to land but can't yet) Well, at least after dat we landed safely with my motion sickness so bad, i feel so great just to touch the ground....but as i go through the customs, i got nervous again....knowing and fearing what awaits me. i quickly went passed it and stood by the conveyer belt. i got my bag, though i keep having the fear dat it be lost or why it take so long and such. actually it din take very long, it's just my nerves dat makes time seems longer.

Got my bag, took a quick walk and went through the last checking. (was so nervous and such and i just wanna get this done and over with to calm down)

A few more steps...

...i am out of the CLARK airport.

I stood stunned at the entrance of the airport. EVERYWHERE and EVERYONE around me are pinoys. And i know with my half assed pinoy speaking i wun survive anywhere here alone. I look to my right, then to front and left, looking for dat pogi boy i fell for in front of the webcam. I was getting kinda worried then i looked right again. I see this familiar face in the crowd (wearing his glasses he hate so much) wearing a dark greyish shirt with a messyly folded in blue collar and his long pants with a smile, waving at me. Though a bit unrecognizable with the glasses and so unreal with him in person, i called out to him asap. (well with dat outfit he looked smaller than i thought he was. i din realize he IS bigger and taller until the next day actually. i am so fail, must be because i too nervous)

"MA MAC!!" i said as he quickly approached me with dat shy-ish smiling face. I plucked my courage and gave him a hug. An immediate rush of warmed and his scent covered me as he softly said my name to reassure the girl he is hugging is the real deal, i soon got overwhelmed by the fact, yes, this IS HIM. The one i fell so deep in love with. =)

"OMG YOU STAND OUT!!" he exclaimed. "You pretty girl, so this is my girl eh, how can u always say u are not pretty??" he said and he gave lil pecks again and again on his fav place, a.k.a my cheeks.

"I finally got to huggles my mac mac" i said nervously while hugging him tight to calm down. i snuggled, closed my eyes and lean towards his body.

"Hey u wait here k, i go get the car" he said with a nervous + pinoy accent. Which was so funny!! Ok actually not really when i realized i am going to be left alone for a while. i panicked. I quickly grabbed onto him and said, "no want, no leave me alone please..."

"but is going to be hot,  plus the road is not smooth..."

"no want"

"you won't wanna walk in your pretty boots like dat."

"no wantttttt, please no leave kitty here. no want be alone, kitty follow."

He looked at me back shyly and said,"oh okai, why you so sweet?" He picked up my luggage and we both took our 1st stroll to the car.

"So? Where u wanna go?? lunch or back to the hotel 1st??" he asked as we moved out of the shade and into the sun. "NOM NOM" i replied and he smiled. (wat's so funny ah...>.<)

After settling down in the car, i refused to let go of him. everything felt so unreal, like the most wonderful dream, so scared i would wake up in my room with nothing but the webcam on and him there on the other side sleeping as usual or something. In the midst of the silence, we both approached for our 1st kiss.

KLANG!! the glasses crashed into one another. We both giggled, took it off and despite dat, plunge into the deep deep kiss we were longing for so long.

we both got a little shy and awkward before driving off, but i couldn't help taking my eyes off him. wondering if this is the same person that i know so well within. Hahaha, i know i am wierd since him and his nerdy glasses did took me by surprise - he wore back his glasses again since he says he can't drive without it (I tot he said he no like wear glasses?)

he couldn't stop his sweet tongue, i felt so flattered really when he said i am beautiful and dat wat ever i claimed is just some problem with my self esteem blah blah. Every word, every expression from him made me felt so beautiful. The way he blushed and smile, it makes me felt so heavenly.

"Ma macccc" i addressed to him again.

"Yes S-?" he addressed to my given name.

"Can i do something unglam?"

"Huh? Sure you can?"

"You sure?"

"Ah yeah."

"I take off the jeans ah, so hot, no wantt"

"No wanntttt" he repeated after me with a playful voice as he tries to mimick me.

"What?? cannot?"

"Hahaha, sureeeeee."

I took off my boots and pull off my jeans from under my dress, wahhh it was heaven. XDD finally my butt dun have to feel so hot anymore. He keep teasing me saying vehicles passing by may have seen my panties like dat blah blah. i was careful k? so dat is impossiboruuuu!! so yeah, i put the boots back on then we arrived at the mall.

I wasn't dat hungry since thanks to the bumpy ride, i got a lil motion sickness. Killing half my appetite away though i hardly ate anything for breakfast. So we went to get some daily necessities 1st like facial soap and such then to pizza hut for a meal. Dat pogi keep saying ppl staring at me since i stand out and very pretty ahhh....i shyyy....>.<

When arrive at pizza hut we decide on my usual hawaiian pizza (dun like anything else) and some finger food here and there. Mac has his free flow ice lemon tea while i had a shake. I am so pampereddddd<3 It taste awesome too. Mac wanted me to sit in front of him so he can watch me eat. i wanna sit beside mac mac so i can hug him. so i moved and he went "awwhhhh" in disappointment. But then, sticking close to him seemed to make him more shy. so cute~!! then we nom nomed (which we didn't finish), take away the left overs and decide to head back to the hotel. After eating, i folded a tissue rose for mac though, he still keeps it nao and is stained with my perfume the day before i left phil. I do hope the smell last till the next time i see him though, no want him to feel lonely. =)

holding hands we went up to our room. as the door opened after some attempts of trying to get the key to work, i quickly took off my boots and commented dat the room smell of roses. mac didn't say anything to my comment, but as i turned around THE WHOLE ROOM is filled with red rose petals with a bouquet on the bed. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, my heart was filled to brim with his sweetness dat instant.

dat charming prince of mine walked over to the bed and took the bouquet, handling it to me. i was like stunned. couldn't find anything to say and blurted out something stupid like "the cleaners will have a hard time clearing this after we leave". mac says is ok, is their job to clean up anyways as he flipped the rose petals off the bed so we can have a rest.

I got a bit bashful, i placed the flowers gently on the bench and crawled into the bed to snuggle him. OMG this mac mac is so sweetsssss!!! He felt so comfortable and warm to huggles. so yeah, we took a rest snuggling like dat having our gentle hugs, lil sweet talks and kisses + him chewing/pinching my siopao cheeks...to nomnom-ing. Itai yo, oniichan LOL

As the sky darkens, we wonder if we should just gonna stay in or not. But mac mac mentioned his relative + one of the besties Johnel helped with the preparation for the flowers and so we decide to go out, meet him for a drink or something.

We both bathed and dressed up ourselves to go out again. i tried to dress mac mac up and OH i finally passed him the chain i made for him during valentines day. Macmac din like to get to dressy so we had to remove my scarf. But at least he did wore my chain XDDD which makes me so happy he is willing to wear it out.

1st we headed to V8, a quiet bar and had our drinks 1st while we chat and waited for tito Johnel. 1st time i gonna have wierd drinks n food. 1st one is a green tea liquor and 2nd drink i had is a pink color guava flavoured cocktail while macmac has his beer, we too shared this finger food of fried squids with a wierd sour sauce, which surprisingly didn't taste bad. I drank some of his red hose beer too, it was tasty though~I got a lil oozy and coiled around my mac mac soon  for support after i finished the drinks. it's my 1st time i ever felt so happy and free. then we moved on to another pub to meet tito johnel.

We arrived at the pub, it was noisy (but not the messy/dark kind since it is kinda on an open area) and is very difficult to talk. mac introduced me to more relatives, Tantan and Dugs who are so naise to me.

"You speak tagalog?" dugs asked i remember.
"konti." i replied and the gang laughed as mac mac giggles and corrected me "konti lang"

Johnel ordered this chocolate cocktail thing, which taste so awesome. like those liquor chocolates, cept dat it is super sweet and is liquidddddd!! <3

1st day with the guys, i was a bit quiet i dunno what to say. macmac keep cueing me to ask things and say dat dugs is gay. so bad these boys like to tease each other and make me do it too. LOL i kinda enjoyed the moment till i can't drink anymore, since am starting to get sleepy. i din get to eat dat local fried squid thingy dish on the plate the 1st day since i just feel too swipi to swallow.

Macmac realized dat i am falling asleep and told the guys we have to leave nao and helped me out into the car. my body felt so heavy dat i couldn't walk anymore, macmac literally have to dragged me off and into the car where he gently put the seat down so dat i can lie down comfortably.

"tell me if you are gonna throw up k?"

"uu" i replied and fell into a short nap. it didn't take long till mac have to wake me up since we reached, mac says he is kinda drunk too but he will try to stay awake. he got some red bull and so ya, he helped me up the elevator and i realized dat i am going to puke. mac panicked, but tell me dat we gonna reach the room soon. But sadly to say, my tummy got mean to me and i puked asap just after we stepped out of the elevator and crashed on my carpet floor. (poor cleaner who cleaned it the next morning)

I felt so embarrassed thinking dat i have caused a lot of trouble, but mac mac was there with me reassure it is fine, is normal dat i just crashed like dat, he had so much more of dat moments too and says dat i will be fine, he'll clean me up before tucking me to bed. I felt so much better and the guilt seems to have flown away.

we got the door opened and macmac helped me into the CR to help clean me up. we took off my clothes which was stained with the puke and heated up the molten lava (a.k.a hot water) for me so i can be comfortable. i felt so much better and energized after i puked as the alcohol effect starts to fade away. i bathed and washed my hair all clean and changed into a clean pair of clothes. there was no working hair dryer in the room so i decide the hand my head over the bed and rest. macmac asked if i am ok, i said yes, but i am very tired, i dun think i can entertain him much anymore and apologizes probably another million times. he said it is ok again and again, reassuring me that everything will be fine and he is ok. mac mac says he will help flipped me over after my hair dries and i fell asleep soon after. So did he. leaving me sleeping like dat till morning.

Day 02 - 31 May (Thurs)
Woke up dangling at the side of the bed and rolled myself back up. thought for a second about where the hell i am as i turned around to see my love sleeping soundly behind me. I got myself back on the bed properly and roll roll roll into his arms and kissed his lips after calling his name. Mac mac woke up and huggles me tight and continued to close his eyes.

"Macmac no put me back on the bed. u fell asleep??"

"umm yeah, sorry."

"nah is ok, u said u drunk too. so u must be very swipi too. Sorry about last night. kitty is fail."

"what are u talking about," he exclaimed in a cheerful manner. "It's ok!! I'm here and I'm supposed to take care of u!"

"thank you."

"awww u so cuteeee.....come here." he said and huggles me tight, doing many tickly kisses on my cheeks which makes me giggle and made me feel so blissful.

we cleared up the mess and dirty clothes, bathed and packed to prepare to go home. His shirt so comfy ah, i keep stealing. But dat ma mac have no more extra clothes, so i have to give them back to him. Ah wells, then we went to book out and go back to the car. hot hot weather, but yeah, beautiful town and air-conditioned car with interestingly messy architecture. (like dat vandalized trees, so funny) XDD we topped up the gas 1st then we flew home. the drive was smooth, macmac is driving surprisingly slow, though he always told me he like to drives fast and rush.

When we reached back, both Kov and Motmot ish at home, but there is a blackout. The whole house is freakin dark though thank good still quite cooling. Kov went out asap after getting some food since he can't take the heat any longer. While motmot just tries to sleep in the room.

Me? I just keep walking in and out everywhere to explore the room while mac mac finds place to sit down and rest while watching me walking in and out everywhere. I founds a noisy small mut dat doesn't seem to like me at all, a big doggy dat likes ppl a lot, 2 cats dat are always hissing at me, stray cats and dogs dat run away when they see me. A motmot dat keeps sleeping though he ALWAYS HAVE his computer on. Macmac's bed in the middle of the room with his soft soft pillows and his scent rubbed all over it, A stuffy dark room where motmot is sleeping in, a relative came over often to check on the boys and eat meals - Kuya Fer. I nom nomed too, my 1st meal there. macmac says ate cooked yummy food just for me, it be rude not to eat anything at all though i not hungry.

I got bored after dat with all the heat coming on and sat down to draw. Mac mac came beside me and the both of us ended up drawing and sharing our drawings and stuff from his glass treasure box. macmac handed me a origami heart with his lil notes on it where he made in Apr. It was so sweets <3 I finally got wat he intended to give me.

The late afternoon was getting really hot though, i wanna have shower, so mac mac handed me towel so i can shower. but then but then but thennnnnn, the CR also so stuffy, after i bathed in cold water and dressed myself, i started to get sticky again asap. SO HOT!! Even motmot got bored, he sms-ed mac, who is only sitting like 3m away from him dat he had never seen the mac so happy before. LOL <3

Ok then i go outside in the garage and lookies at the mut since i am bored. macmac came out too, finding the dog actually letting me touch it while the Ate is there. Ok just this lil cute side the mut has. then i washed hands and decided dat i wanna go outside.

So after washing my puke stained boots, me and mac mac took a walk around the neighbourhood. THERE IS GOATS!! AND CHICKENNNNN!! so cute the kambingggg yum yum

So cute right?

The roads are not roads, more like just rocks around the house. road area is only near the entrance to cer-hil subdivision.

Thank god it is not as freakishly hot here as in SG, still quite cooling. especially dat evening is approaching. Mac mac and me had a good stroll with him nigga-fied by the sun. dunno why he so scared to be nigga-fied, he still pogi anyways. (And it makes me feel, it be ok if i get nigga-fied too, since i am sure i wun get as dark as he is. MUAHAHAHHAHAHAA)

when we walk back to the house. YAY electricity came back!! THE HOUSE IS BRIGHT AND SHINY WITH THE LIGHTS ON NAOOOO!!

*flies back into le bedroom where there is aircon, ah sweet heavens* Then i on my lappy and update my internets, let ppl know i am safe and sound. Then bathed again.

Then we had dinner together and went back into the comfort of the aircon. Spend the whole night snuggling and ignoring the phone outside. and then and then......sleeping early the night. LOL

Day 03 - 1 June (Fri)
Woke up early in morning like 8.30am thinking dat i have work. sat up and saw mac mac beside me and lay back down, wrapping my arms around him to make sure he's the real deal.

I am in The Philippines!! With MACMAC KO!! IN HIS ROOM!! ON HIS BEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!! TOUCHING HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! *gasp gasp* WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *hugs tight!!*

Macmac woke up with the huggles and hugs me back squishing everywhere he likes and biting my cheeks again. ARAY KO!! Snuggling much warm inside the blanket until the tummy rumbles and we need to nom nom soon. So we went out the room finally and clean ourselves brush teeth and stuff. The 4 of us nom nomed together for breakfast and then the kov is going to go out again soon. Motmot then went back to room, play his pandora saga with the BGM, so noisy. Me and the mac mac went back to the room as well, both of us starting to cough like hell. As so mentioning going out to get medication but we never did.

Then around noon, the Bloody Regla came. Madre de dios!!

BABY IS MISCARRIAGE!!

Mac mac seemed to be glad about dat though, no baby. =.=" Why you so meannnn...

so yeah then we decide to rot in the room and chit chat/check fb on my lappy/snuggle soft white long pillow while the mac mac nap.

Kov keeps walking in and out after he bathe to wear naise naise clothes to go out for a while, while i keep disturbing mac about being the heartless daddy he is for being happy about the miscarriage. Kov put so much deodorant, the whole room choked with dat smell as he sprayed. then he bid us laters n left. motmot's playing his game, so i crept over and watch. Mot seems slightly awkward and din reply to me much. I got bored soon quickly and crept into the bed and napped with macmac.

Kov got back in the late afternoons, sat by the computer to play his game on his bed. I saw and went back to sleep again until someone else came. Who's dat?? Mac did mentioned someone's coming over today early morning, but i no wear specs i cannot see + i dunno who the hell he is.

I try to fall back to sleep again, but wierdly i can't since i am wide awake already to i decide to disturb the mac mac.

*points points*

"heh?? who's dat?!!" mac said in his fake confusion.

"i dunno, who's dat??"

"i dunno, i thought u know!" he joked again and smirk. "Nahhh, dat's Joshua."

I lookies at the ma mac and gave him the =.=" look. mac sat up and speak in tagalog to introduced me, i said Hello. ^^

Joshua was a bit awkward shy, but he replied hi back.

Me, Joshua and Kov sat there watching tv for a while. kov and mac so amazed dat i like watching NC cartoons. but they so awesomeeeeee..........!! I like dat kitteh!!

And then we (me and mac) hungry, so we go out nom nom dinner n bathe. Mac mac then said, "so what time is it nao, shall we go out get cough medicine?" Not even knowing wat time the mall closes, joshua and motmot came along too. There was a dead jam at the U-turn to the SM mall, so it took us sometime to reach there. When we reached the pharmacy is closed already so we decide to go starbucks instead, since i never had starbucks before.

Mac mac ordered a drink with the big cup and we shared. Wahhh the creamy icy coffee ice cream thingy is shoooooo yummy!! SARAP TALAGA!! then we slurp slurp feed mouth to mouth, lovey dovey while the joshua and mots there staring at us.

We went back to the car, bored. Mot suggested us to go to PP, Party Place. A used to be very popular pub. but now a bit died down. we reached there, finish our coffee since cannot bring outside drinks in and the ma mac litters ahhh. But since he say ppl will clean it away later, so i din got too bothered by it.

They ordered a Pinacolada for me while they got themselves beer!


motmot and joshua starting to smoke. At least dat sweet sweet motmot is considerate enough to know dat i dun smoke and tries to fan the smoke away from my direction, fail-ly. =p Macmac tries to make us chat, but much language barrier and the place too loud i can hardly hear joshua's soft voice. Macmac keep "accidently" touching my boobie and drinking the cocktail from my lips. Is yummy pineapple tropical cocktail i must say. I drank a bit of beer too since i bored and no more cocktail and we are supposed to wait for johnel to come meet us. But then but then but thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn........

I forget the warning about drinking while having regla.

My eyes blacked out. it was such a scary experience. I tell ma mac dat i am fainting soon and i am not feeling very well. ma mac told me to hold on, since he think i prolly just drunk and such. but soon he realize i getting serious because my body got cold because of Anemia and i fainted. it was only for a sec or so though, but i regained conscious with my eyes still seeing black.

i started to panic. so did mac, mot and joshua. As i couldn't walk or see at all, dat mac mac have no choice but to lift and try to carry me out to the car to bring me home 1st since i started to have bad cramps at the tummy as well.

Ma mac put me in the car, carrying, dragging and using all he can to bring me into the car. He lower the seat down and drove me home asap. i think he drove very fast since we got home really fast. i must have scared him much =(

He then dropped me outside on the road as he tries to open the gate to let us in. Ate came out to help open the door, mac got me up again to help me into the couch. (no one else dare touch me) Mac mac dropped me with my long hair on the road arghhh....>.<

Mac mac carry me up again into the house. i went to the CR n threw up and dropped on the couch where macmac go get the blanket to keep me warm while i slowly slip the uncomfy skirt n my boots off. i lie down there hurting while mac got me medication and boil some "molten lava" to help get warm towel to keep my tummy warm so the cramps go away. he stayed with me for a while before going out to pick up the motmot and joshua, while i have my lil nap. It was so sweet you know having someone actually taking care of me like dat, i feel so so pampered like a princess.

I woke up when the crowd got back. Johnel, Tantan, Dugs and Mot asked how am i feeling when i awake. i said i felt better. =) They care much about kitty ahhhh.....i feel so honored and thankful. I couldn't help but feel so protected by these guys. It is a good feeling, like they do care about me as a being, not just being macmac's girl. Mac mac got me more warm towel to help heat my tummy again and my cold head. Only when i have got better dat i decide dat i should bathe and wear something comfortable. So i got into the room to get some stuffs, while mac go get clothes for me. Kov joked if i am drunk, i said no, just anemic. Joshua fell asleep on mot's bed. (after when i went out the johnel say joshua c jackjack, so cute)

I went to bathe then went back to the room again to rest. Plan din work too well, kov had NC channel on, so i just sat there and watch while chatting with the kov until i felt better and awake. i left the room after dat and cleared the mess i made in the living room with my clothes and boots and went to sat beside the macmac on the same chair. apparently they got some hard liquor and most of them are high already.



Johnel went to mix dat hard liquor with nutella. it smells disgusting ok? But them and their devil's potluck liquor party.....urks. LOL (They tried to make me drink though, thank god i am not feeling very well)

Mac mac got so high, he got kinda huggish and nua-ing all over me. We spend the night chatting and making fun of dugs' gayness and dat mac mac look more like a girl. mac mac was so sexy, kissing me nonstop in front of his gang.

The partying lasted till late night, mac mac made me go huggles the tito johnel and we bid them good bye while mot goes back to room to rest.

Mac mac was still kinda high, but he still dragged himself to clear up the place.

We kept going in and out of the bedroom after dat to bathe and such. I was not feeling good in the cold so we decided to sleep on the couch outside. Mac mac and me had a lil fun there playing with lil kisses, it made my bloody night so much comfy and better. (I learned not to squeeze mac mac too hard, else he ARAY KOOOOOO!!!) Then an hour later we went back to the room to sleep because mac mac seems to be suffering without the aircon. Hehe.

So yeah, ok. we went in room. Get my fav long white pillow, huggles the mac mac and fall straight to sleep after a sweet goodnight kiss. I think it's already near 4am then.

Actually not really is like near 5 after we done playing outside.

Day 04 - 2 June (Sat)
It was a relatively tiring day from all the drinking and craziness the night before + my regla. Everyone was asleep when i opened my eyes other than kov, who went out to eat breakfast 1st. I woke up tiredly around noon and dragged myself off the bed to clean myself. (you know to change the pad and wash away my blood as my skin starts to itch again.

Crawled back to the bed arghing because the air was stuffy in the room...

...there's another blackout.

"Ma macccc" i said n push push dat sleeping mac.

"Hmm?"

"No electiricty...."

>.< *mac mac rub eyes* "Is it the 2nd of June?"

"Yeah....?"

"There was a notice, it's gonna be like dat till 5"

HEH 5pm?? ARGHHH So hot though, though it's just late morning. I just couldn't stay well in the stuffy room like he can. So i woke him up and have breakfast, while asking ma mac if we can go out. movie or something. Mac said sure. =)

So me and mac got up, soon followed by Jack jack and motmot. We nom nomed tgt on the dining table and take turns to bathe to go out. The CR so stuffy again without the air ventilation, so i took a quick bathe and escaped out of the highly humid area. So yeah, then we all got into car. Jackjack went to a cute household convenience store and got us some chewing gums as he gets some sticks. So long since i had one of those chewing gums. But well, too bad though, chewing gum not enough to blow bubble. Hehe, me and the ma mac actually tried to...i saw him, sticking his tongue out with the gum as wells. LOL

We went to SM mall, argh, bad jam much since by the time we reach the mall the chewing gum has already lost its flavor.

We went to get our cough med 1st. We got the red one though, which was more suited for me since it is helping me deal with the cold air coughing thingy. But for macmac it din do much good, since i think he should be needing the black one since wat he caught from me was a flu virus. We then went exploring around the mall all the way up to the cinema. We bought tix to the movie MIB 3. The tix are just like theme park entrance cards man. Ma mac says, can just go in there and watch the movie again and again without coming out. no need book seats, can change as we desire.

After dat us and motmot+jackjack split up for a bit then went around the mall for a small walk before meeting together again on the other end. Ma mac says he forget to bring phone and Yves is coming later. I am so excited and nervous to meet yves. Yves is 1st of friends i know ma mac has.

Jackjack says he needs to go home soon, so we decide to enter the movie theatre earlier than expected. so the movie was playing halfway. we just got to a place far back and away from mot n jackjack, staying there for the 1st session of the movie just kissing and snuggling like a couple we are. Hehe, din do anything too naughty, we are in public, i have public decency one k?

Then after dat we had a small cr break, then into the 2nd session we go, then the jackjack is leaving and have to go. We bit lil jack jack goodbye and then went back to watch the 2nd time, sitting with the motmot tgt. This time we no lovey dovey (awwwhhh), but then the movie was good. i enjoyed, though the plot of the movie is a lil rushed, it finished too soon.

We got a lil hungry after the movie. macmac asked if we should have another starbucks again, i said i no want, i wanna try the crepe-ish food dat was in the movie. macmac says dat's a street food and it is available around here in the mall's food court!! <3 So after another CR break, we went to the food court and got ourselves some of the crepe. LOOK SO YUMMY NYAN!! SO MUCH MEAT<3 Macmac says it be spicy, but when i nomnom....er.....taste of chili, but i din feel anything tingly spicyness, while macmac says he be needing water. Macmac then promised me we shall have more streetfood as dinner tonight.

We checked watch, it be around 4~5pm, the electricity should be back nao, so we headed back. Jackjack left some of his stuff on the car, so we took it back as well.

The house was lit when we reached back, me and mac collapsed back onto the bed after having the med to take a nap, snuggling with each other's company while waiting for the night to fall. It din take too long though that I was awaken by some chatting and another presence in the room. I looked over to the other side of the bed and spotted kov and another tall thin figure. With the blood not in my bed, i crawled up and lumped over the kov's bed's "fence" and look over. Kov and the other guy spotted me with dat blur face, the guy smiled. Kov quickly intro-ed me as the "Yuki Piaos".

"Hello Yves" I said and Yves pinched my cheek after greeting me hi.

"Awwwhhhh whyyy??" I groaned looking at him with my half asleep face and he laughed while kov watches in amusement.

I slumped back onto the bed and woke ma mac up, telling ma mac i am pinched in cheek again. ma mac woke up and did the same thing, saying because i am squishy like dat. I rub rubs and sat up again. This time they all stared at the swipi kitty acting all blur and stuff. I got up to get ready to go out again, so did mac and the other boys. I passed Yves his gift (he chose the black handphone strap), he said his thanks, i felt so happy he seems to like wat i got for him.

We all went out together to the back of Robinson mall where the street food are. Ma mac says they are fishballs, hmmm i nomnomed. It taste yummy with the sauce. But then the taste is not fishball taste to me though and the taste is not as strong as i tot it would be. Probably because i am used to having food with strong taste, the fishball ma mac fed me felt a bit flour-ish to me. It was so fun, nom nom-ing and joking around with the kov and yves. Mot was a bit quiet, so i din dare to disturb him as much. I realize when i find him like dat, my tone changes when i talk to him like wanna care for him as an adult. Motherly instinct??

After nom noming we went to 7-11. On the way there Yves gave us disinfectant liquid to clean our hands, ma mac and kov says he gay. Haha, but then but then, dat yves hair so long, so dun to play with ah~ Mac ask who look like girl more nao, him or yves. i said yves! XD So we reached 7-11 (the 7-11 inner is lik those in taiwan show with tables and seat so u can eat in the store itself. So much better then the SG and Msia one right??) very quickly, short dist only. I got to drink some local bottled juice and a packet chincharron. XDD WAHHHH THE LEGENDARY CHINCHARRON NI MANG JUANNNNNN XDDD!!!


Yummy juice though, i had lychee flavoured, it has nata de coco inside. <3 yum yum. Mac and me shared the bottle though, hmmm indirect kiss indirect kisssss HAhahaaHAhaha.

Ma mac mentioned he like me like this, dat i am happy to share food/drinks and such. Even if is not ma mac i no minds. I felt so happy XDD, normally people would be just eekified by this or get jelly and wat not.

After this, we got bored and went to a coffee cafe and had coffee XDD Me and the ma mac shared a big cuo again. The cookies and cream coffee ice blended thingy, it was so yummy and oh, we had cake too! We spend our time there just chatting around + gossip gossip about macmac and yves. =D I felt happy though i dun understand like 30% of the conversation where they were talking in magtagalog. Hindi naiintindihan po! heheh. We had fun, i felt very included with them, no one was left out. maybe a bit for mot. since mot english no good, is as well as me not knowing much tagalog. LOL So we're even??

The night ended fast and we all have to go back soon. We drove Yves off and dropped him around a shophouse area, i assume there's where he lives. we bid him good bye and dat we'll meet again =), and thus is time to go home bathe and sleep.

Which. we didn't, except mac. We all gathered around my com to watch an M21 movie. Eventually macmac fell asleep. mot went back to his ps. wierd though, leaving me n the kov watching porno scenes tgt like as if it's nothing. i flipped the macmac like a baby, so he can sleep well and got blanket for him. Kov watched and asked, where did i learn how to do this to men, saying dat i should have much experience with them.

I said no. Actually is really the 1st time time i do this to an adult. Macmac sleeping seems so cute like a baby to me, i can't help but to tuck him in bed properly and pat/stroke him to sleep. =)

 
After this day, i don't really can label what happened on the other days of the week. Since it got blurred in my memory of the sequences as i got more and more used to living with them. (I seriously feel like i'm just at my home, u don't remember things u usually do around in your own house do ya?) I'll still try and see wat i can puzzle in for dat few days...(tries to arrange the events here and there)

Day 5 - 3 June (Sun)

Don't really remember what happened in the morning. Only remember the part i actually dare to boil the water on my own to make kopi. =D No need ma mac/Ate's help. See!! Seriously the whole place has become my own house as well. LOL

We were all rotting in the bed room when tito says he'll meet us all out for dinner. *gasp gasp*

OH MY GOSHHHHH I'm gonna meet THE BOSS. "OoO" I got super nervous, though mac mentioned it early afternoon. OMG wat to do wat to do....Mac says dress stand out *smacks him* da hell. So i pick a decent-ish clothes, the pattern-ish rock shirt with my jeans, enough. mac picked a gray pattern-ish one to match mine and his jeans. After we all bathed, we're good to go!

We met up tito at a bbq restaurant. Kuya Fer drove us all there. We met tito, i greeted him with the filipino way by putting his hand at my forehead for blessing. (ma mac teach me) tito was amused, he just laughed and say,"you want my blessings too eh?" I smiled. tito was very welcoming, introduced me to food, urge me to eat more, treat me as part of his family. i passed tito gifts i brought for him, he seems to like it a lot, i am so happy XDD There were a lot of laughter and chats on the dinner table. everything was yummy, though the sauces do taste a lil foreign to me. kambing soup is kambing soup, same here. Then OMG the s$0.90 freeflow rice!! OMGGGGGGG so cheap the food here. even ice lemon tea (not watery kind) is also free flowwwwww<3 I ate lots lots to my hearts content!

After we are done. we all rested a bit and tito says mac should bring me around more and gave me some new printed notes (he also told me not to give it to dat mac LOL), which i still kept it till nao. So pretty ah~ XDD Tito says he will see us again, paid the bills and sends us off. ma mac says tito likes me a lot. =)

We went home after dat with kuya fer dricing again and bathed. Kov let me watch my cartoons while waiting for the mac to be done bathing. XDD He seemed to be still quite amused dat i wouldn't step away from the TV. Mac was done soon enough, came in and watch me, as if i'm a kid. Hehe. We were all ready for bed but the night was still young, sadly to say we are ALL VERY ENERGENTIC YOUNG ADULTSSssss.....and SOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo....ahem ahemmmmm.....

AHEM....

...we set up our computers to play dota. XDDD

I bet you were thinking about something wrong eh. Me with those 3 pogi boys under the same roof, in the same room. Ok and yves was good looking as well. So the whole time dat day i felt protected with these princes as my guards, it does make me feel like a princess.

Ok back to dota. I keep disconnecting as i play, A.K.A LE LAGGER. So can't do much, kov just have to set the game char at random, so i got a close ranged char. Which was a big big disadvantage to me, since i am not used to it + i am lagging much. So yeah, keep dying and eventually got kicked out of the game as i dc-ed altogether. The modem probably cannot handle us 4 playing it. saddening though.

Then mac decide to pass me the L4d2 file while he playing so we can play later, while i watch my running man waiting for the game to end.

It din take long though, since dat pro star motmot raged through the AIs and there, end of game. We won~!! XDD Mot says i noob ah, but mac says i am like just decent player. Not average, not fail, just bit better. I felt much encouragement. Hehe, i will try to play better next time. (will training self when free time)

Then me and ma mac play our L4D2 after watching my running man with me. he made fun about me liking KPOP shits, no horh, only running man show i like. no kpop shits music please~!! L4d2 was good, I HAVE CHAINSAWWWWWwwww, so fun. ma mac just watched in amusement, he says i look interesting when i am playing and talking to myself.

Oh really?

Day 6 - 4 June (Mon)
Woke up around noon a bit with a foul mood, knowing dat we have only 5 days left, half of my vacation had already passed by in an instant, I was upset slightly thinking about our vacation together ending. I quickly got out of bed, washed my face and cool down. Went back into back to kiss mac mac and my fears away.

I went back into the room and cuddled with the mac, who still refuses to get off the bed though is like 1pm already. We continued to stay in bed for the rest of the day, only going out when we need the CR or water.

We stayed in back till late afternoon, just being there to cuddle, watch tv and chit chat around. U know, just being around the house, then afternoon went to nap again. It's a lazy lazy monday it seems.

We didn't do much in the house. just lazying is all we do until evening where i sat around the TV watching Garfield. Garfield like noming lagsana. I looked at the cartoon while mac and kov was beside me. i commented, "how does lagsana taste like? it seems to be yummy." the bros stared at me in awed.

"You never had lagsana before?!!" Kov was shocked and he kinda exclaimed. while mac mac ask me if i wanna try. i replied like "can? can?? u have it here? can have??"

Mac said, "sure. let's go later. you want?"

"I want!" I replied and mac go urge me to bathe asap so we can go out for dinner. We both got really dressy though LOL just for dat lagsana.

We travelled to angeles city to a big mall, which reminds me of orchard road. on the way, there was a highway, which when i looked up, i can see the wholeeeee sky. it was a very pretty sight u know? though there were no stars, but the wideness of it is enough to make me relax and wind down before our dinner. Mac says there's a lake nearby, but is too dark to bring me day. maybe someday we can have stroll there in the day. Is beautiful sight he says. =)

As we enter the mall, after the guard checked on us. he said we wearing party clothes, hahaha and dat we good looking. cool eh? We went to an italian restaurant for our meal. mac mac keep saying i stand out so much and so pretty everyone even the waiter is staring at me. i got so shy, because to me. wat's standing out in front of my eyes is just dat pogi with the sparkling eyes looking back at me. Not anyone else.

Mac mac ordered us lagsana, 1 mango smoothie for me (which taste so awesome, sweet mango fruity taste. So unlike how SG would serve watery taste drinks.), 1 free flow ice lemon tea for him again and a tiramisu for dessert. (which mac no really like, i love though). We got a complimentary mushroom soup and bread stick though. The restaurant ppl are so naise, the waiter is much helpful in getting our food.


 i sat in front of mac mac, who regretting me sitting opposite. (See, i told u it be better if i sit beside u) So i moved while noming the tiramisu. everything taste so awesome, i must be having dat silly shiawase face all the time. mac mac took pic of me with my 1st Lagsana. Hehe

After the nom noms, we are so filled up to the brim, we got to the car and rest 1st before heading to our next stop.

Baby ko and i drove us way to SOGO and spend one of our most lovely nights of our lives. It was the 1st time anyone could satisfy me so much so much i exploded. *shy shy* I felt even more loved nao.

Later dat night we went out again to drink. Macmac ordered Tanduay Ice for me. I got the citrus flavor, it taste so good. near to shandy, but stronger. He got his beer. Well to cover up our scent and eat something naise after a long tiring night. We went home with kov teasing me again saying dat he know 'dat' smell, since he is still awake and it amuses him to see me actually high from alcohol and patting his head. He was like omg what's wrong with you?

I dunno what he mean by 'dat' smell though....is prolly just the alcohol.

Tito came by with tito paul. which mac told me to go out greet them, i did with my high and happy self. tito pat my head and tito paul shook hands with me. mac says dat gesture is like, can't see dat i am actually very unsociable back at home since i am quite interactive with them.

After tito left i went to take my shower 1st and headed for the bed. there was no change of clothes since Ate is already asleep. so i just wore my yukata to sleep while macmac dug out a yellow shirt from his room and wore the pants i wore the night before. we both swipi like dat, with my scent all over the yukata he love so much, huggles nomnom and love love each other while swipi-ing all the way sweetly till morning.

Day 7 - 5 June (Tues)
Another day which i couldn't remember wat the hell we are doing again in the morning and proceeded to just get on with the day. There was another black out and sadly to say with a super HOT HOT weather + another unexpected blackout. i keep urging the mac to get us outta the house though mac says it be back soon since it has no notice about it.

So we decided we should go out and get me a pair of slippers or something. Just to go out for a lil walk instead of boring-ing ourselves out at home. We walked around the robinson mall, but never bought anything. just some window shopping around since we cannot find anything fitting. Saw some really beautiful pendant though, but never bought any. i so scared to make mac mac spend money for me. So we just decided to head to the cinema to buy tix for Dark shadows which i so wanna watch since the trailer just came out. mac mac only watched it because of johney depp while i just mainly like tim burton's work.

Then the 2 hungry hungry us went to get nom nom, we went to nom Jollibee. A local fastfood restaurant which seems to be quite popular with the locals.


I nomnom chicken with rice. wat's with the rice....almost everything has to go with rice here. LOL, but this sauce yummy though (can be found in mcd too)

After noms, we went to the supermarket to get mac mac's tomato ketchup, since there's only dat eeky banana ketchup in the house. once i stepped into the supermarket, hell let loose in me. FOOD!!

FOOD IS EVERYWHERE. WAHHHHH totally love the smell of it. Ma mac almost bought anything i pointed to. LOL mac says if he is fuckin rick james, he'll just buy the wholeeee supermarket down for me. Now girls, dat's sweet. even sweeter than buying down a whole branded clothes store ok??<3 is nom nom ehhhhhhh dun deny u dun like the nom noms. =p

We then went to watch our movie after buying some chips and yougurts + dat tomato ketchup. Many sexy scenes, we keep teasing each other and joke about it.

After the movie we went home and have dinner at home. YAY with finally we have tomato ketchup. LOL We spend the night playing L4d and watching running man with mac mac trying to transfer me borderlands (which failed)

So instead of doing anything else we played with each other instead. It caught on fire so much, we have to leave the scene before people notices. We went outside, drove the car a road out and back into the garage. (dat road was dark n scary, so i refuse to be there. Mac have to drive us back.)

After our lil fun, we got back to the house, bathed and go back to the room. Noticing motmot is asleep already, mac muted his com. (Santo Maria!! YES!!) And we swipi well comfy-ly without any noise. <3

Day 8 - 5 June (Wed)
Woke up today realizing mac mac is swipi-ing back facing me againnnnn!! Rawr!! LOL I swipi back facing too sometimes. But then the prob is, i was lying on his arms last night. dunno why his arms, magically disappeared and he is facing away from me completely. =.="

It was a pretty draggy day, but at least we got out of bed to have breakfast and late lunch. Other times I was just either idling on the bed or outside with the computer on or watching tv/running man since mac mac says he's going out to fixed the scratch paint on the car we from from fail parking into the house on monday night. So i'm all left alone for the afternoon rambling through stuff and just waiting for mac mac to come home. motmot was alone anyways, since kov is ded asleep on the bed, so i just sat beside mot and watch him play.

mot keeps having this awkward silence with me, only nodding to watever i say. So i just got bored and went outside again. maybe mot is just not used to me, or maybe i'm just being wierd, he freaked out. *shrugs*

Mac mac came back early evening. Saying we going out for dinner with tito again at 6pm told us all to go bathe. So we both went into the room to wake the 2 boys up, it feels so interesting, treating those 2 as my lil bros and send them to bathe. I have never loved my family like this before, which is so heartwarming when i see the mot/kov fidgit fidgit and no want wake up even if i try to shake them. Mac told me not to go wake mot up, he might hit me. But ah wells, he didn't. we left the room for a while and went back, the both are still asleep, just dat mot is back in his own bed. (Maybe he thought we just need the bed, instead of us needing him to be awake.

Mac and me chat on the bed while kov went out to bathe 1st. Macmac got so irritated somewhat and talked about wanting me to del tenchi boy off my ym. the more i ask why the more mac got angry, i mean...i just wanna know why and why am i the one who's gonna use the rude words to him. I'm not defending Tenchi boy, but i also see no point of me doing anything mean in particular. Hmmm So yeah, mac got mad, i got scared and tried to calm him down while i am freaked out bad by him myself. T^T I only complied when mac decide to want to type the evil things himself while i just needed to go with the enter. But still, i din feel too good about it. I don't like mean mean to anyone at all, is no good reputation + it will make me feel guilty.

I didn't feel very awesome after dat but still i smile and assured mac i am fine. So mac went to bathe while mot and kov talked with me asking wat happened and such. We left the house and talked outside though, explaining about the situation to kov, who suggested i should just drop tenchi. He said he even dropped his family/cousin for his girl so if i love mac i should be able to do it. I again explained to him is not about dropping tenchi boy or not, more like mac wanted me to do something to tenchi then drop it. Kov and mot then talked about the way i behave on Pandora Saga, they say mac would have dumped me long ago.=< i hits the kov, he doesn't seem to mind it and talks more about my flirty bad deeds.

When mac done bathe i told mac dat kov says i am not good enough for him. Mac says kov is talking rubbish and kiss me, says i am the best girl and he'll never dump me for anyone else. reassured, i cheered up and went to bathe.

I was the last one to bathe so i quickly bathed myself and dress up normal like only tees, pants and my jacket around my waist and i ready to go. (mac slightly disappointed dat i no wear pretty, but at least i put makeup and tie hair pretty)

it was suppose to be kov driving the car, but i think he lazy so mac mac have to go take his glasses and drive the car. We went to this buffet restaurant where with meet tito and tita ces, tito sai and tito paul. where tito intro as "Your tita ces, tito paul and tito sai." So sweet =D I greeted them again with the hand on head gesture.

We nom nomed a lot of yummy food while tito sai keep talking about mac and things i should learn and go around in philipines. Tito Paul no good in english so he no speak much, but much laughter on dinner table as well as food. dat kov ate the california rolls as main meals ah, LOL he must love those sushis a lot. Motmot keeps eating fried food haha and we all have another free flow drink of Ice Lemon Tea. Tito Sai then suddenly ask out of no where, "So Mac and S-, when are you 2 getting married?" I almost spat out wat i was eating!! i was so surprised he just suddenly asked. Hahaha, honestly to say, i wanted to say NOW NOW, can marry NAO!! LOL but then i just kept quiet, was so bashful. Then the mac whisper in my ears, "Don't worry, i'll marry you. But i am poor." I no minds he poor though, just as long as he not poor in heart and our love will be enough for me.

After the  main meal, mac mac made me a SUPERRRR sweet Halo-Halo. <3 It was so sweet dat i cannot taste anything from the ice lemon tea anymore. Hahaha, but it was good, though mac din like it as much as i do.

We had a full full meal, Tito paul took a family picture of us all. Tito, Tita Ces, Kov, Mot, Mac and me. =D I wish i have the pic though. Mac promised he'll get it for me. (prays to get it soons)

We had a full full meal and thus, is time forrrrrr COFFEE BREAK. we ran across (jaywalk) the highway and back to our cars, so fun. Then we help to put the groceries tito n tita bought into our car. Then we go to coffee cafe and have KOPI~<3

I had a hot Latte though, while the adults all have hot coffee, the boys have cold ones and oh OH CAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. LOL We continued to chat more and Tito gave me a new note of 1000 peso and told me not to give ma mac again. Hehe, is pretty blue note. I keep, though mac did try and ask for it. IS MINEEEE!! Tito giveeeee

When we were leaving, tito says i am always welcome here and welcome to the family. I felt so heart warming, so this is how it is like to be a part of a family huh. =)

After the long day, is time for us to go back to house. sleeping time, we all bathed and go to sleep after some chatting and kissing

Day 9 - 5 June (Thurs)
Ma mac and the boys woke up earlier once to have breakfast already, i didn't since i not fully awake yet and lay back to sleep. They all ate and went back to sleep.

"Morning." I said with a cutsey voice. macmac wakes up and says 'morning' too. I tell ma mac my tummy hurts from being hungry. Ma mac still tired though so we just continued to stay in bed till around 11.30am? Dat i cannot take it anymore so i went out and eat my brunch. I ate and watched com as i do, after i done eating, kov came out and ate his lunch. He asked if i ate, i said i did just ate what was left of breakfast for lunch.

So Kov says ok and joked saying, "See, i am can be naise." I giggled, agreeing. Yeah, he is naise and have been naise to me. He just talks sarcasm sometimes, which can be scary. But all in all, i really enjoy the company of kov times we were to be left alone. He didn't feel as scary as i thought he would be after all.

I went back into the room and rested, while waiting for ma mac to wake up, since he unwilling to wake up when i shake him. we just continue to be lovey dovey on bed and have nap. After we woke, i ask mac if wanna go swimming. he says ok, but then we drag time to bathe + prepare + traffic jam + carsick when we went out, so we didn't make it in time, since like less than an hour to play in the water park. We just decide to gave up and go to take a walk in the nearby playground instead.

We played on the swing and mac was amazed by how i can control the swing to increase the speed. We have our lil chats and saying how much i no want to go back and how much he want me to stay here. I don't want to go too, i am happy here, happy here with ma mac~ I can't believe time passed so fast and soon our vacation is gonna end. It was quite a depressing moment for us. i couldn't smile at ease and i can't even ask him if i can just stay here and not go...sigh.

"You're going to be back again, don't worry. You're always welcome here." he says, "I'm going to marry you someday remember?" I almost cried.

After dat we went home after adding up petrol + traffic jam. It gave me another carsickness though, so i dropped on sofa to rest. We were both hungry and too tired to go out + THERE ARE FROGS OUTSIDE and dat mac is scared. LOL So we decided to just order mcdo delivery. I drew on ma mac hands while he was calling the mcdo. But then but then online and calling services were so inefficient, in the end (an hour later or so after some nap) mac got frustrated/hungry and decide to go out and buy it himself while i rest my carsick-ness away and bathed.


I never knew the mcdo here would be so awesome. They still have the float here but with many MANY MANYYYYYYY different flavours. Mac had the 4 seasons one while i have monster coke float. SO YUMMYYY I din know vanilla icecream + chocolate syrup + coke would taste so good together. *shiawase face* My mcdo meal of chicken have rice n sauce again, i just pour all the sauce on the rice. The mac says i doing nom nom sins since it is suppose to go with the chicken. Butbut, it taste better with rice, chicken should go with ketchuppp KETCHUPPPPPPPPPPP!! Hehe

We decide to watch movie after the meal, so we hooked up our laptop to the TV. Macmac's Avengers dvd din work, so~~~~we watch movie from my lappy. We watched 2. Koizora and Scott Pilgrim vs The World. Mac mac keeps having a lot to say about Koizora, saying girls would dig for the guy's trick and stuff. So wierd he is analyzing the movie like dat when he's one big casanova himself. keh keh. Scott Pilgrim was pretty good though, a lot of interesting scenes. mac keep feeling me with the cheese nacho says is need to make me more fatter. >.< NO WANTS FATSSSSSsssss

After we done with the movies, we cleared up the mess and snuggled in each other's arms. His embrace felt so warm, so comforting. I really don't want to leave him at all. I'll let him chew my cheeks and make me grow pimples, i'll let him hug and squish me whenever he wants, even when i am eating. Ah oh god, i wish time would stop then and we'll just stay like this together.

There's only 1 day left for us 2moro so we didn't wanna let the night end so soon, though i am like freakin tired out already. We both drove out to 7-11, got some energy drinks (red bull red bull.) to slap us awake and went to SOGO again. Have some alone time, some snuggles and a lot of love. It was a saddening night as none of us wanna let go of each other. But more we sink and soak in each others' embrace, we grew inseparable.

Day 10 - 5 June (Fri)



Woke up late today again thanks to sleeping late last night. We looked at the time, is already afternoon, so after dragging our time around, we realized we have no more time to go swimming. Mac said he'll bring me there next time though, so we shall see =)

So instead of going swimming we went to the mall instead. Macmac told me to wear super super pretty out today since is gonna be my last outing for the vacation. =<

We went to robinson mall to buy luggage (we bought it 1st and brought it back into the car 1st), Juliana's Hopia Baboy + gift for her, a pendant (we din buy this in the end) and something else. Mac knew dat i wanted it somewhat. We went to a few accessories shop to find an affordable yet naise looking ones. 1st shop we went to, it was too expensive. Mac kinda exclaimed and made a blunder. it was funny, though he was pretty embarrassed, saying he had made a fool of himself. Dat silly mac, can just say thank you naisely and walk away. There's nothing to be embarrassed about actually.

Then we took a stroll for looking at the pendants. we wanted to buy a matching one. but then, we couldn't find one dat suits us both and i didn't want him to just buy something only i would like. After dat, we went to another accessory shop and found some affordable ones. We stopped and look, i picked out 3 designs from all of them, while the final decision rested in mac. Surprisingly, mac picked out the simple rounded one among the 2 other more decorated designs.

Mac slotted (more like stuffed) the ring into my finger. Nothing romantic, he did it pretty quickly and such. It made me felt slightly disappointed though, since it looks as if he doesn't want it or something though he denies having that thought. Somehow the ring, though simple, it look like a wedding ring on my left hand where mac has left it. We had each other's nicknames carved on our rings and when it is time for the payment, mac wrote on the recipient receipt, under recipient: "Mr & Mrs Songco" I was so (="OoO"=) when he wrote it down. Mac gave me the reciept after the shop lady gave it back to him. it will be one of my fav treasures. XD



See Mac, you're actually quite fair, stop saying u nigga or i will deliberately call u dat everyday. =p

After dat we went to buy juliana's gift. The lady says i am sexy ah, i don't know why until we went home and mac says dat i have an unusually arced back which makes it sexy. Each store ppls/relatives we saw, they keep telling the mac dat he should teach me speak proper tagalog. HAhahahaa, mac says i should learn too, since i'll be staying here with him forever.

After we reach back, it was a bit late already. so the both if us just bathed and sat together as i repack and keep the things that were lying all around the house. Mac was saddened, he didn't want to let me go at all. I asked mac mac if i could have his pillow, mac mac though i was joking and said no. =< Mac asked if he can have 1 piece of my clothing, i said ok but he didn't want to have it. (We both kinda regretted this, though it be fine if we could keep each other's presence near ourselves. sigh...MAC MAC I STILL WANT IT NAOOoooo why u no want give meeee T^T)

I slept pretty early the night before after repacking my stuff into the new luggage. I was extremely sleepy and my body can't hold on any longer so mac suggested i should sleep a bit and he'll wake me up later so we can have some time together. Which he didn't and let me sleep. he soon came to join me, we slept the night hugging each other tight and firmly.

Day 11 - 5 June (Sat)
We woke up when my alarm rang in the morning.

"No want you go please, please stay." was one of the 1st thing he said in the morning. It was heart wrenching. I don't want to go too...ah stupid fate, stupid sea, why do you have to keep us apart? I wish i was born in this beautiful land though, not miles apart away from him. We snuggled by the bed for a while, refusing to get out. I painfully pulled myself out 1st and take a bathe, went back into the room to wake mac up and it's time to go.

The one that didn't want me to go the most was the one driving and sending me off, ironic isn't it?There was a slight jam in the morning, which mac refers to "even the traffic don't want you to leave". I wish dat is true though, since i would be happy if i am allowed to be here to stay. I wore mac's bracelet home, mac says he wants me to keep his lucky charm. It is one he told me he almost died in car accident, but he survived with only one bead chipped off, hoping it will be one keeping me company when he's not with me. There were a lot of mixed feelings as i hold his hand tight and lean on him as he drives me to the airport. I was so scared, so afraid of leaving his side i felt so insecure and panicky.

Like the same way i came to him, he parked the car and we walked back to the airport where we 1st met. With a final kiss we bid farewell, i was so upset i can hardly remember how it felt like. DAMMIT. I walked to check-in on my own in the airport since mac cannot enter, but as soon as i finished with the check in, mac disappeared and that's the last time i've seen him with my own eyes HD mode.

I traveled back on my own after paying airport tax blah blah, back to Singapore. I felt so alone it scares me.

The plane ride was smooth, i actually sat on the same seat as i came. Watching people in pairs all around as i go back, noticing how much i miss mac, my heart hurts much. Our 10 days just ended like this, in a flash, right after i got used to the life there and enjoyed the company with mac and his family. I can't help but feel that my life is so unfair.

I spend the next few days hugging tight to the things mac gave me and the clothes (mainly the shirt he gave me before we left the house, i stained it with his perfume around the collar. *sniff sniff*) we wore, crying my pain out. I even found a lil note folded into a heart shape in my luggage where mac snuck in while i was asleep, it was a sweet touch, it did made me less lonely.

I thought about days mac be mean to me and days i be mean to mac,
days i be drunk and mac carry me, days mac be drunk and went loko,
days i get injured, like dat ingrown toe nail, mac nursed me and days i pat mac to sleep like a baby,
days mac pamper me help me clean myself/even the earwax thingy and days i sat on his back to massage him.

So many memories we have in our special special 10 days. There's more to add though but i doubt i can finish them all + noticing dat this blog main page is actually full of this post already. This must be the longest and most memorable post i made. Haha. Mac mac my charming pogi ko, I love u more than anything and I'll do so much so much to be with you. Don't tell me not to do anything more because i won't listen, I know u said you'll take care of it that i should just lay back and go with the flow. But then but then, i want you A LOT, that's all i know.

Mac promised we will meet again in dec and i am praying for that day to come soon, till then is time to save up moolah again and hope we have a better time on our next trip. Baby ko, i miss you.